WANTED:
DEAD OR ALIVE(SORRY PETA BUT THIS IS MY BLOG)
REWARD:
$50,000 (maybe)
I know it's difficult to see in this picture but that is a squirrel sitting on Joe's grill eating what must be a very tasty grill cover. Or maybe the squirrel is using it for a nest, I really don't care since he has taken about 1/4 of the grill cover. It won't even stay on the grill anymore as the hole is too large.
p.s. if anyone decides to take me up on this, if you happen to see a black and white cat in our backyard, could you please take care of that as well. You will be monetarily compensasted. It really doesn't matter to me how you'd like to take care of things ie: bb gun, shotgun, 9mm, semi-automatic, sling shot, trap, poison...etc.
14 comments:
Oh...if we had any stray animals lingering around in our backyard, I would feel the same way!!! :-) Thanks for the laugh...I got a good chuckle out of this post!!
humm.... I would go for the bb gun. The semi-automatic or 9mm might completely blow up the little guy and make a mess for you to clean up!
-Erin
Good point Erin, I didn't think about the mess there would be to clean up.
Erin has miscalculated. The "9" might disintegrate the squirrel, but not blow him up. There is a difference. Blow up means "to explode or to cause to explode," which may indeed happen. Disintegrate is "to separate into parts or loose intactness." To me disintegrate would be the obvious choice of these two words. I will back "the lovely" up and say that either of these two intellectual options can be attained by shotgun blast, but would you not rather use the more accurate of the two? It is a matter of "truthiness."
-Jake
Wow Jake, it seems like I learn something everytime you leave a comment on my blog! If you guys come home for Christmas maybe you'd like to come over and do a little bit of "hunting" and then I could blog about the difference between one disintegrating and the other one exploding!
I couldn't be prouder of you, Jake. Accuracy is so important. Aunt Carol
Heather,
Tara shot a white-tailed buck this weekend; so you may want to try and get her to your house to put a hurtin' on that pesky squirrel.
-Jake
I am a proud member of PETA. I will be at your home with my picket signs in the morning.
SAVE THE SQUIRRELS!!!!!
disclaimer--I could care less about the cat, in fact, I think you should blow up, disintergrate or burn the ugly thing. But Heath...I guess I will have to return the embroidered cat sweatshirt I bought you for Christmas.
Maybe I could blow out it's eardrums with a hard rock ballad. When it's eardrums blow, it will loose it's equilibrium, and without any sense of balance I doubt it would be able to get another piece of that cover.
In fact it may fall off the deck due to it's imbalance and have what us NJ natives like to call an "accident".
RockStar--
Stick with the gig you got goin'. Don't start in on gettin' rid o squirrels!
SAVE THE SQUIRRELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go spray paint someone who cares Step out of the Peta ...
Terribly sorry to pick a fight on your blog Heather. Not very nice, but Rockstars ARE known for their Borish behavior
Heth, and all of your faithful readers...I sincerely apologize for the RockStar's behavior on your blog. As his manager and groupie leader, I am very sorry!
You have a very nice blog and it is not meant for "his" kind, I will try to keep better control of him the blogosphere...
Heather ... it might be time to turn on comment moderation, this is about to get ugly
Hey Heather, I think I would feel the same way as you do. . . I am sorry you have to deal with that. Also a broom works really well to scare the cat. . .even my Isaac likes to scare the neighbor cat with the broom or a stick if it happens to come into our yard especially if it thinks our yard is it's litter box. Good luck!!
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